Katey’s Corner

My soul cleaves to the dust…my soul weeps because of grief; strengthen me according to Your word. Psalm 119:25, 28

God is love - therefore, being made in His image, we love. And when people we love are no longer around, we suffer. We suffer the loss of not seeing, or touching, or talking to that person again in this life. We suffer the loss of dreams and memories. What do you do with the memories? What do you do with the regrets? Where can that intimacy be found again? Continue Reading »

Tags: Grief

Victorious Love Output, Part 4

We all want significance, but most of us don’t know how to get it. We may even have to look up the word in the dictionary to discover what it means! Here is the essence of the meaning of significance.

1. Why am I here?
2. What will I do that lasts?
3. What gives me a sense of worth?

My story is like everyone else’s…

I am a sinner saved by grace. How do I grow out of my love immaturities to knowing that I am significant?

Continue Reading »

Tags: love, significance

Victorious Love Output, Part 3

Keith wanted me to talk about the joy of repentance. I want to tell you first of some of the joy that I experience, on a daily basis, because I agreed with God about my sin and trusted Him to change me.

Freedom from being enslaved to “me.”

Unlike God, I am not good! I have created a lot of messes. It wasn’t until I was convinced that life wasn’t about me that I began to enjoy working in partnership with the Holy Spirit. He taught me to creatively think about others and what they needed. It is truly a joy to not be so self-centered! Although I have had much victory, I continue to have to say to myself “It’s not about me,” when situations come up that could be a battle. Continue Reading »

Tags: discipline, love, repentance

STYLE OF RELATING

Before reading this portion from Dan Allender’s “Wounded Heart,” it is good to remind yourself that your “style of relating” has been much changed since you started a relationship with Christ.  Some of the relating style may still be lingering; however, remember that “Christ doed for us while we were sinners,” (Romans 5), and He is at “work in us” until Christ returns.  So, rather than reading these pages and feeling condemned, please come under the grace of God, realizing that as you make those steps to love others, the negative relating styles will fall away as your new life in Christ becomes more and more evident.  Praise God!  He does change us.

Although obvious secondary symptoms of sexual abuse are not always present, past damage will inevitably show itself in one’s style of relating to others. For clarity’s sake, several important foundational concepts need to be covered before we explore the particular elements of relational style: (1) What is a relational style? (2) Why is it important? (3) How is it formed?

WHAT IS A RELATIONAL STYLE?

A relational style is the “typical” way of protecting oneself in con­tact with other people. Self-protection is, in essence, the commit­ment to never be hurt again, to never be powerless, betrayed, or ambivalent in the way we once were. Isaiah 50:10-11 provides an excellent picture of the idea of self-protection: Who is among you that fears the Lord, that obeys the voice of His servant, that walks in the darkness and has no light? Let him trust in the name of the lord and rely on his God. But now, all you who light fires and provide yourselves with flaming torches, go, walk in the light of your fires and of the torches you have set ablaze. This is what you shall receive from my hand: You will lie down in torment.” Continue Reading »

Tags: abuse, relationships

Victorious Love Output, Part 2

At the last class I shared how God changed my life. I also shared that there are many people I am grateful for. One of those people is Dr. Ralph Ankenman.

HOW DR. ANKENMAN LOVED ME

Dr. Ankenman is the first strong, loving man that I had ever met. He is no pansy! He is strong in his love for God. He is strong in his love for his family. He is strong in his love of truth. He is strong in sacrificially loving others. He was vitally instrumental in my struggle for emotional maturity. Dr. Ankenman did not withhold any truth from me in any area that he saw I needed to grow. I am very grateful for his strong discipline. There were times his words cut through my selfish heart like a surgeon’s knife. He was strong and brutally honest – and I liked that.

A RIGHTEOUS SERVANT

Most of the people I see in counseling are there because they are stuck in a problem and unhappy in life. They have not learned to be victorious servants. Like Ankenman says, “Americans are lousy servants!” Someone tells you to do something and you say, “You hurt my feelings. You didn’t ask me nicely.” Ankenman would say, “Is that your job?” “Yes.” “Well, you do it, no matter how they asked.” In most other parts of the world, a servant obeys his master because it provides him with security. How much more should we obey our Master because He provides our security.

Continue Reading »

Tags: discipline, love

Victorious Love Output, Part 1

How many of you feel stuck in your problems?

How many of you believe you can change?

I am a living testimony that no matter how screwed up you are and no matter what kind of family you were raised in – you can change! God has changed my life through His most wonderful love and grace.

For many years I was stuck. Much like the little boy, David, in the Steven Spielberg movie Artificial Intelligence, I looked for years for love. I was lonely, depressed, and felt ruined by an earlier marriage that ended in divorce.

Then I found myself in a second marriage that was even worse! My husband was a cruel and violent man. He was a predator, and I was easy prey because of my immaturity and “lostness.”

The truth is that without God all of us will find ourselves stuck in relational failure. We are deeply influenced both by our messed up culture and by our own immature emotions.

Continue Reading »

Tags: love, suffering, transformation

John and Betty Stam

John and Betty Stam were missionaries in China before the Communist Revolution. In 1934, they were martyred by Communist revolutionaries. Their daughter, Helen, survived. This poem was written as they were enroute to China on October 20, 1931.

To John from Betty Stam:

Continue Reading »

Tags: marriage

These are my first steps in writing in a blog.  Scary - because I don’t know who all is out there.  But exciting because perhaps this is a new way God can use my life to help others learn to walk in love as many have taught me. 

Here’s something I would like to toss around - I have been studying Luke 20.  The chief priests and scribes with the elders confronted Jesus with a HUGE question:  ”By what authority do you do these things, or who is the one who gave you this authority? 

One of the first struggles I had as a new Christian was changing my thinking about who was the authority in my life - people who played different roles, or God.   Would any of you like to discuss how you had to struggle with the “authority” question? 

You can post to this site from your desktop (without a Broswer) by downloading Live Writer from Microsoft. It’s pretty cool:

live writer

In fact, I edited this post using "live writer"…