NeoZine

If you build plan, prepare, and host it, they will come … or at least that was the dream of the Hughes Home Church. The desire to have substantial discussions in a friendly, open forum with non-Christian family and friends prompted the plan to host a Conversation and Cuisine.

As this home church transitioned from a college-aged to a post-college, professional ministry, a drop in first time guests became noticeable. Jake Lagotte commented:

We have always been a super-fun and happening church. No one can throw a party like our church. We just weren’t getting the same results as we did earlier. Parties didn’t lend an opportunity for conversations of substance. We realized we needed to change.

Though this undertaking was a first for this home group of young couples and professionals, they met the challenge with spirit-led vision and energized resolve, guided by the previous C & C experience of leader Kathryn Hughes. Pressing onward, they were undeterred by several “bumps-in-the-road.” Amy Lagotte recalled:

We understood that a lot of planning was involved – like the logistics of planning a dinner party. We knew that it would be a lot of work. What was surprising was that, as a group, we weren’t as eager to get out there and actively invite our friends and family. This is wartime – people – get out there and reach the dying.

A week prior to the event no one was coming. Invitations didn’t get to most guests until just days before the C & C. The morale was a bit low for a while. Amy took action, called everyone in the church and set a deadline for the final guest list.

It was amazing. God really honored our meager efforts. One day we had no one coming. A day or two later we had 16 to 20 possible attendees. Things were getting exciting.

So, What is Conversation and Cuisine?

Scrumptious fare, and engaging, thoughtful discussions – this describes the night in a nutshell. The goal of the C & C is to provide a hospitable and an other’s centered environment, where all views are openly welcomed. The views are respectfully heard and then discussed. More questions are asked rather than answers given. The goal is to engage in meaningful conversation and to establish a platform for deepening relationships. Remember people matter.

Discussion moderator Jake added:

The idea is to get people to a place where they are comfortable and can talk about what they believe. Our goal was to get to know where people are spiritually. The measure of a successful C & C is whether opportunities for follow-up develop and if relationships deepen.

Ideally, the entire home group participates in the planning, preparation and execution. A topic and menu are selected and various duties are divvied up among the workers. An equipped moderator is chosen, stylish invitations are delivered “mano-a-mano,” theme-based menu items are prepared and brought to the venue, and appropriate decorations are displayed. Those bringing a guest attend while the rest of the the home group gathers at a different location and simultaneously prays for specific needs. Prayer and group participation are vital to make this a successful outreach event.

What Was The Draw?

Prospective guests were personally invited – recall, friendship and deepening relationships are the goal. The topic was one everyone can relate to – suffering. “Why do bad things happen to good people?” the invitations queried. Further questions posed were, “Is there any meaning to suffering? Or is it just something in life that we must cope with?” Such a universal, troubling problem drew a diverse crowd to the dinner party.

The food was Southern – of course – the perfect fit to comfort those longing for answers – those who were about to delve into the deep hurt of their souls. Amy put together a tantalizing menu to satisfy even the most timid palates.

I wanted people to be at ease with what they were eating. The food was not strange or exotic – people felt safe to dig in. And boy did they ever.

Appetites were fired up with hot crab dip, followed by an entree of BBQ pulled pork sandwiches, blackened chicken, and gumbo – Cajun style. Sides of southern green beans and mashed turnips rounded out the meal while a “carbo-licious” euphoria was reached by those indulging in the pecan pie and praline topped ice cream. Dry whistles were wetted with sweet tea, lemonade and a variety of fine spirits. This body can pull off an excellent spread. Need more be said?

What Went Down?

The atmosphere was warm and welcoming – Southern hospitality filled the air. Conversations flowed freely during the meal. After dinner, a short clip from a episode of Frontline, covering people’s reactions to the events of 911, was shown.

The clip presented two different reactions: one person lost family in the tragedy and questioned where was God in all of this suffering. The other showed an Episcopalian minister who explained the reactions of his parishioners. Many viewed it from a theological perspective. While some focused on the importance of family and of relationships. Still others became more cynical about life.

This was a difficult topic. It is hard to talk about both the emotional and the philosophical implications of suffering. One guest commented, “You can’t consider such pain and discuss this issue without God coming into the mix.”

The group really owned the conversation. Different views were heard and considered. People were willing to listen to others opinions. Some had strong opinions. The objective of the conversation was not to “get stuck in the detail.”

People need to know that they are being heard. When they are heard, they are more open to hear what someone else has to say. So many people think that Christians are just people who judge them, and then tell them what they should do. This format clearly stands against that misconception.

The personal stories of suffering really added to the intimacy of the evening. Dar McCallum and Melanie Avdeyev shared profound examples of suffering. This really brought the issue to an emotional and personal level. People seemed genuinely affected and interacted best during this type of sharing.

The conversation went on for an hour. “People should be engaged without being burned out.” Jake reflected. “The discussion should leave everyone wanting more.” Apparently, they did as small groups broke out and the conversations continued. Guests stayed late, further testifying to the success of the night.

Don’t Forget The Prayer Warriors

Meanwhile at a different location in the Falls, some strategic prayer was going down. The reminder of the body that was not at the Avdeyev’s home migrated to the Beech House. They had a job to do.

Their hearts were heavy with a burden for their fellow comrades-in-arms and the last minute glitches that appeared suddenly, but not so unexpectedly. This was after all a forward attack in the spiritual realm.

Kathyrn, with cell phone in hand, received updates of the pre-event needs and the current status of the guests. The number of guests kept fluctuating. Some guests were detained by childcare issues. Others by work and errands. Would there be enough food? Sufficient seating? Who would actually attend? Oh, the uncertainity of it all!

Not to mention that the topic was edgy. How would people respond and would they be receptive? So many unknowns – so much at stake. God had a lot of work to do through His willing servants. Hearts and mind unified with a common goal, prayer continued for over an hour.

Will They Do This Again?

In a word, “Absolutely!” The success of this event is measured by the opportunity for future, substantial conversations. Several attendees plan on checking out a Central Teaching. Others have already arranged to meet in more personal venues – like catching dinner together later this month.

Angie Bertka’s sister perceived the aroma of Christ. She noted, “I didn’t notice any meanness in any person present. Such a wonderful group of people. I have never met such a group as this. The discussion was just amazing.”

“Next time we host a C & C we will know better what to expect.” said Melanie who, aided by fellow workers Kathryn and Nicole Wondercheck, was instrumental in pounding out last minute details.

“Next time we host an event like this, we need to have a better set-up schedule, and to get our invitations out sooner. Having everyone involved is what makes this such a worthwhile and unifying time.”

Amy added, “We usually can throw a party together in a day – I think everyone thought that this dinner party would just happen because we wanted it too. We learned a lot about rallying the troops.”

So, with one Conversation and Cuisine under their belts, this church is fired up and excited to see God working among them in such a powerful way. Where they were once reluctant, or at least a bit uncertain, they now are eager to step forward and host more of these events. When God moves, the energy is exciting and contagious. There is even talk among the workers to host another one in August.