NeoZine

paths to the heart

Tribalism begins with such promise and a strong foundation, but it always ends in ruin apart from His design. It is worthwhile to consider God’s design for this concept of a “Tribe,” and where it should lead, before addressing the problems in today’s Tribe.

Dynasties

God is the one who first created the concept of the loving, supportive Tribe when He created us in His image:

Then God said, “Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness…” God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them. God blessed them; and God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth, and subdue it…” – Genesis 1:26–28

The Tribe is anchored in a secure, loving relationship called marriage. God created male and female and marriage when He said, “Let us make man in our image,” and together these reflect God’s capacity for intimacy. It means God anointed the human experience with the most amazing, transforming power called love, and its impact spread across the globe: “Fill the earth, and subdue it!”

The core strength of the human race is not merely its ability to multiply—animals do that—but to form intimate relationships which multiply and form the social networks which gives humanity its dominating power over all creation on earth. This is a Tribe, in essence, and its design is in our genes. It’s not limited to the nuclear family, as it’s called, because the ability to “be fruitful and multiply” means larger, widening circles of influence which grow and grow, like ripples from a splash, reaching far beyond the nuclear family into the outside world. That’s God’s intention.

God designed us with three awesome privileges, then: the capacity to love, the authority to create new life, and the power to subdue the world. All of these demonstrate the primacy of love, and it’s built into our basic design and purpose as humans. Through the love in marriage, humans multiply. From the love in the family, humans build social networks, and as a society of relationships, mankind rules creation. When God’s love prevails in relationships, when relationships work as designed, the sovereignty of mankind produces a benevolent and powerful race of rulers.

Dynasty is a more appropriate term for God’s design. “Tribe” is so trite, yet it describes the cheap imitation we build today in our primitive, fallen state. Simply put, Tribes are depraved. The Tribe we grew up in is stripped of the glory and dignity that only comes when people unite under God’s love.

God has not abandoned us to our depraved, tribal experience, however. When He died on the cross for us, He made it possible again for humans to enter the joy and strength of His love through the forgiveness of sins, and through His love we can rediscover His design for humans: to form Dynasties. Thus:

The Spirit Himself testifies with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, heirs also, heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, if indeed we suffer with Him so that we may also be glorified with Him. – Romans 8:16–17

What a tragedy it is for Christians to continue living in a tiny little tribal world, when God is at work raising Dynasties!

This is not a change in behavior. It’s a whole change of life, and it’s quite within reach! A Christian has the spiritual power and godly authority to get out from under the gloom and weight of the Tribe, and the insight to become God’s agent for changing the Tribe into the Dynasty He created us to inherit. It should be tremendously liberating for any Christian to enter the old Tribe with this godly view leading the way.

Permanent Love Values

It’s a marvelous design, because in our Tribal experience we form Permanent Love Values which deeply affect our lives and provide a solid platform for launching great endeavors. These Permanent Love Values provide safety for infants, then training and discipline for kids, and finally a reference-point for young adults to marry and launch new families.

This process to “be fruitful and multiply” is inherently relational, not a system or method or institution as humans are so skilled at building. Powerful cultures will collapse despite spectacular technologies and wealth, but always, always humans have survived despite the most harsh circumstances if their Tribe is strong. That’s the power of love: “fill the earth, and subdue it!”

We intuitively know how vital it is to build a stable home, and yet the bulk of our time, energy and focus is fixed on busy careers and personal achievements in the American lifestyle. The Work Subs will spend far more time fixing up the crazy house than investing in those living inside the house! It’s a crazy thing, but I bought a house in excellent condition from a young, industrious couple who owned it for only six months and got divorced. As I inspected the house it was evident they poured tremendous resource into fixing it up, and they took a bath in financial loss. What’s the use? A beautiful house can’t repress the hatred inside!

People desperately need Permanent Love Values to live victoriously and sustain the pressures of life:

Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honor your father and mother”–which is the first commandment with a promise—”that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.” – Ephesians 6:1–3

Even in adulthood the experience of going home for the holidays and spending time with the Tribe should be deeply refreshing, far different from the experience of going to an office party or bar, because no matter how exciting or fun it is, those places do not have Permanent Love Values. As humans we need Permanent Love Values in order to function and face the pressures from subduing the earth. Interestingly, we don’t need an office party in order to function.

Fallen Dynasties

Living in rebellion against God has greatly deteriorated the glory of human relationships. Selfishness, lust, anger, quarrels and many other fruits of rebellion have replaced the love of God at the center of our family experience, so the relationships break down. Dynasties have splintered into primitive Tribes. And everywhere social contact is marked by war. Tribes conquer tribes, and people fight inside tribes. Love as we know it today is a series of heartbreaks as relationships splinter.

But splintering of relationships is more hideous than simple heartbreak: we still retain all the purpose in the original design. God did not grant us those privileges and authority so tentatively.

It means we still have the capacity to love, but marred by sin it’s a capacity to hurt. We still have the authority to create new life, but it’s an authority blundering in darkness and separated from the knowledge of our design and Designer. We still have the power to subdue the earth, but we subdue through compulsion, since relationships don’t work. All those powerful privileges are still powerful, but painful. Humanity is like a nuclear bomb in the hands of a terrorist, except it’s far more explosive and it’s in the genius hands of the Evil One.

Of all the ramifications, perhaps the most heartbreaking is the impact on children. Parents still carry this near god-like authority to create life and hold considerable sway over the direction of life for kids. It means parents can set a direction for generations to come. In India, for example, the apostle Philip established churches, but they also killed him, and those parents set the future course for generations to come.

We continue to feel the impact of our families far into adulthood and even into subsequent generations. Americans live in a world of extreme individual rights that can only be described as fantasy. Nobody walks away free and clear from their upbringing. It’s not in the design of a family to do so.

Two implications are immediately obvious:

• First, it is unwise to run from our heritage. This leaves us perpetually at the mercy of our past.
• Secondly, it’s foolish to conform to our fallen heritage. This too leaves us victimized by our past.

Immature Rebellion

Kids rebel against the Tribe often thinking “something out there” will satisfy their needs better, but remember what Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz learned? She found a promising “yellow brick road” and “the Wonderful Land of Oz” and munchkins and flying monkies, but despite all the colors in Oz, she was only satisfied when she learned, “there’s no place like home!” That silly movie is still a hit because we intuitively crave Permanent Love Values. Who doesn’t get choked when Dorothy says, “Oh, Antie Em! There’s no place like home!”

Jesus also made the same point about Permanent Love Values without the Hollywood glitz:

“But when he came to his senses, he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired men have more than enough bread, but I am dying here with hunger! ‘I will get up and go to my father, and will say to him, “Father, I have sinned against heaven, and in your sight; I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me as one of your hired men.”’ – Luke 15:17–19

It’s his great teaching of the Prodigal Son, and it captures the timeless truth that Permanent Love Values can heal even the most degraded life. For all his money, exotic adventures and stimulating friends, that young man failed in life, but his home saved him from eating with the pigs.

Isn’t it interesting how he was willing to go back as a servant in his father’s household? He wasn’t merely looking for a job; he wanted to re-enter that household where he knew life worked. The genius of Christ’s story is this great resolution which begins with the young man’s gratitude and longing for that foundational love, and it is a convincing change of heart.

The absence of Permanent Love Values is perhaps the greatest immaturity preventing forward movement in life: the heart of rebellion slices the vital connection to our emotional foundation, and then where can the heart find a home? This immature life drifts from one relationship to another, carried by rebellion. Every attempt to establish a new home fails because the past is so full of failure, there is small confidence or experience about a better way to handle alienation. Flight is right.

It is a non-solution to imagine it’s possible to rebel from the past and run away. How simplistic! Looking back at Woodstock and the silly “Summer of Love”, the old hippies are embarrassed today by the simple-mindedness of that rebellion. Yet still people try to escape their family’s pain through rebellion.

We are very much the product of our own histories, and our history is rooted first and foremost in our family where it all began. Rebellion only adds more damage to the history we carry; rebellion ensures we perpetrate those relationships we despise. There is, in effect, very little difference between rebellion and conformity, because both avoid dealing with the past. Conformity and rebellion are resigned and hopeless views of the past, but God’s solution is to have victory over the past.

The Savage Tribe

Despite its strengths, the Tribe as we know it today is a terrible perversion of God’s original design. From the outset when Cain murdered his brother until now, the Tribe has been a savage place. Romantic philosophers such as Rousseau extolled the “noble savage” which still persists in movies like “Dances With Wolves,” but from God’s perspective the Tribe is a dark and dangerous place where damage and sin is passed along for generations:

Only fools say in their hearts, “There is no God.” They are corrupt, and their actions are evil; not one of them does good! The Lord looks down from heaven on the entire human race; he looks to see if anyone is truly wise, if anyone seeks God. But no, all have turned away; all have become corrupt. No one does good, not a single one! – Psalms 14:1–3

This is scary. This emotional foundation is so easily shattered, considering the savages in the Tribe, and it can hurt long into adulthood.

All our advances in life require the emotional stability those Permanent Love Values provide. The savagery of the Tribe is a non-trivial issue, despite our best efforts to keep busy with other pursuits. Our strongest instincts crave success in marriage and raising children and leaving a legacy. The greatest heartbreaks revolve around this. Christians especially should seize the golden opportunity God provides us to build a victorious life out of the ashes of the past.

Pacifying the Savages

God’s solution is to teach and empower us to pacify our Savage Tribes. It is a formidable prospect, depending on how savage the Tribe is. We may feel we came from real head-hunters, and some tribes do behave like cannibals, but truthfully God says all tribes are savage without His love at the center:

“Their throat is an open grave, with their tongues they keep deceiving, the poison of asps is under their lips”; – Romans 3:14

It’s a simple point: go back and pacify the savages! That’s the power of Christian love. Until we love by God’s principles, we continue to love by the Tribe’s rules, no matter where we go.

People hate it when they start behaving like their parents—especially pronounced later in life—but should we expect anything else without directly challenging the old family rules?

1. Those with a broken foundation need to go back and help rebuild whatever remains. This cannot become the legacy passed on.
2. Those from alienated or painful families cannot allow the past to fester unchallenged. Avoidance will not make the bitterness and defeat subside; quite the opposite, because it remains unchallenged, the past follows us the rest of our lives.
3. Those living in conformity and peace with their Tribal traditions are not living righteously, no matter how kind and loving compliance may appear. We must choose who to follow: the Tribe or God. If it’s God, let’s take a stand for Him inside the Tribe.
4. Those building a fortress to shut out the tribal past must realize it is impossible to build the walls tall enough and thick enough to shut out sin. The walls, though new, are weak. Instead, drive straight into the heart of the old Tribe with God’s love.

In all these cases, neither rebellion nor conformity will change the foundation built by the old Tribe. Only a head-on, direct challenge to the authority of the past will ever work.

Is it a frightening prospect to dive back into that Tribe and conquer? Consider God’s will on this issue:

Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. – Romans 12:21

In God’s mind, you can and you must overcome the past. It’s a question of authority: who rules? The past or God?

The Question of Authority

How is it possible to change the Tribe’s unhealthy influence, especially if outnumbered or facing more aggressive and more experienced personalities? No, it isn’t insurmountable, because God has already given us all we need to change the rules. And change the rules we must:

Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. – Romans 12:21

When a Christian enters the door, this isn’t the same person the Tribe controlled before. This is not someone so easily overcome. The old, evil tricks can’t overcome this person’s goodness. The horror! It means the Tribe has been invaded by an outsider! Remember, this is the Tribe’s weakest point: dealing with outsiders.

This means, first and foremost, understanding your New Identity in Christ. This is not a simplistic answer. It pierces the central authority still gripping a Christian. Years and even decades of tribal tradition are toppled when a Christian is cloaked in the New Identity of Christ and the authority of God standing behind it:

Now, dear brothers and sisters—you who are familiar with the law—don’t you know that the law applies only while a person is living? So, my dear brothers and sisters, this is the point: You died to the power of the law when you died with Christ. And now you are united with the one who was raised from the dead. As a result, we can produce a harvest of good deeds for God. – Romans 7:1,4

“You died…” certainly describes a new person with a new authority in life. It enables the Christian to enter the Tribe with great expectations: “a harvest of good!” The Christian operates from a position of great advantage over their past relationships, and it should fundamentally redefine those interactions, despite the history. Christians are prisoners of the past only when they submit to the past.

The question is one of authority: who rules the life of this Christian? Authority in the Tribe was a nasty power struggle in the past, but it’s a settled issue for a Christian. Power was established with nasty barbs and arguments before, but the Christian has nothing to debate and nothing to defend. The Christian’s authority was established beyond doubt by the resurrection of Christ.

The Authority Behind the Authority

Standing on biblical authority rather than the Tribe’s traditional authority will radically change the status quo in a damaged Tribe. But the Christian’s biblical stand cannot be partial or compromised, else the authority is weakened. For example, God says to “honor your father and mother,” but He also says:

You were bought with a price; do not become slaves of men. – 1 Corinthians 7:23

Both of these aspects must be present in the Christian’s new authority. It means treating parents respectfully knowing their authority is delegated by God, but never allowing parents to threaten God’s authority in the Christian’s life. It means honoring the authority behind the authority. Jesus Christ demonstrated how this works when he submitted to Pilate’s authority:

“Are you the king of the Jews?” Pilate asked him.

Jesus answered, “My Kingdom is not an earthly kingdom. If it were, my followers would fight to keep me from being handed over to the Jewish leaders. But my Kingdom is not of this world.”

Pilate said, “So you are a king?”

Jesus responded, “You say I am a king. Actually, I was born and came into the world to testify to the truth. All who love the truth recognize that what I say is true.”

“What is truth?” Pilate asked. Then he went out again to the people and told them, “He is not guilty of any crime.” – John 18:37–38

Christ respected Pilate’s authority, but did it under God’s higher authority, and here’s how he did it:

• Christ affirmed Pilate’s authority: as governor, Pilate needed reassurance Christ was not an insurrectionist. When Christ said, “My kingdom is not of this world,” it was a great relief to Pilate. For the Christian, this means going to great lengths to demonstrate a strong affirmation of the God-delegated authority in the Tribe.
• Christ pierced Pilate’s calloused heart with the gospel message: “All who love the truth recognize that what I say is true.” Ouch. That stunned Pilate, as his reaction showed. Christ touched a raw nerve, not because he knew Pilate’s deepest secrets, but because he knew the deepest need in everyone’s heart. He hit Pilate with truth. The Christian also must make it known in a clear but non-threatening fashion what is wrong in the Tribe.
• Christ redefined the conversation, not only raising Pilate’s need, but serving Pilate’s need: “What I say is truth.” Christ did not accuse, he offered to help. When the Christian raises the issues in the Tribe, it must be in a constructive, helpful fashion and not as a tongue-lashing.
• Christ did not argue with him. “What is truth?” Pilate baited Christ, but Christ fell silent and refused to answer. Pilate already had Christ’s answer: “What I say is truth.” Pilate didn’t like the answer, but Christ refused to be dislodged, and his silence underscored the earlier answer. So too the Christian must stand on the clear issue and solution backed by the authority of God’s Word, and be prepared to refuse the arguments and other manipulative attempts to change the agenda.
• Christ used silence to confound his enemies. In this example and throughout his trial and appearances before Herod, Christ answered mean-spirited, lying, cruel, abusive people with stunning silence. How different that is from our typical reactions! It requires a certain strength of character, a certain godly power to bite the tongue and fill the air with thick silence. Oh that really hurts to do it, but it hurts even more to get it. This isn’t the pouting, ambiguous silent treatment we’ve seen before. Rather, it’s a silence with a deliberate, clear message: what you just said was wrong, plain and simple…and it does not deserve an answer.

This sums it up:

Do not answer a fool according to his folly or you will also be like him Proverbs 26:4

In short, Christ set the agenda, not Pilate. Yet Christ was both submissive and sincere with Pilate, and the governor was won over. Pilate faced the angry crowd and declared with conviction, “he is not guilty of any crime!” Honoring the authority behind the authority is a winning strategy.

This is not complicated, but it may feel strange and unfamiliar at first. In this case it is necessary to slowly build a new history of victories, small victories at first, but as they accumulate it becomes possible to launch more significant challenges on the Tribe’s hold. No matter how hostile, unloving, menacing or manipulative the savage Tribe may be, nothing can match what Christ faced the day he was crucified. Jesus confounded and pierced his enemies with Victorious Love Output. It’s a new way.

Dumb Sacrifice

Jesus said, “Pick up your cross and follow me,” but if this is perverted into “pick up your cross and follow the Tribe,” it’s merely Dumb Sacrifice. Serving an unhealthy Tribe by their rules of engagement always ends in massive defeat. Young Christians tend to insult and argue with the Tribe, but older Christians can be worse: they enable.

An enabler wilts under the intimidation of the Tribe. Every Tribe revolves around a central authority who wields near-terrifying power. Everyone in the Tribe sacrifices for this bully. For example:

Take this woman who’s been married to an alcoholic. She’s prayed for him for 20 years that he would stop drinking and become a Christian. ‘He loves me in his own way, I guess,’ she says, so she sacrifices and sacrifices until finally she says, “I just can’t give any more!” and then she collapses. And what do you say? “Learn to rejoice in tribulation!” – Ankenman-t215

Whose rules has she been sacrificing for these 20 years? The bully’s rules! This is called Dumb Sacrifice. Christ handled it differently:

No one can take my life from me. I sacrifice it voluntarily. For I have the authority to lay it down when I want to and also to take it up again. For this is what my Father has commanded.” – John 10:18

Jesus did not die by their rules, but his rules. Christ is clear that “my Father has commanded” that “no one can take my life…” Rather, “I sacrifice it voluntarily.” If Jesus had catered to the expectations of his disciples, he would have died leading a revolt against Rome, not at the cross. The disciples tried to stop him from going to the cross:

…Jesus began to show His disciples that He must go to Jerusalem, and suffer many things from the elders and chief priests and scribes, and be killed, and be raised up on the third day.

Peter took Him aside and began to rebuke Him, saying, “God forbid it, Lord! This shall never happen to You.”

But He turned and said to Peter, “Get behind Me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to Me; for you are not setting your mind on God’s interests, but man’s.” – Matthew 16:21–23

To sacrifice based on demands from others is Dumb Sacrifice. There’s nothing godly or redemptive about it: “for you are not setting your mind on God’s interests, but man’s,” Jesus said about it.

Victorious Love Output means strategic sacrifice, not Dumb Sacrifice. It means the end to “business as usual” at home. No more catering to ungodly expectations. No more sacrifice at the whim of the Tribe. Yes, there will be sacrifice, and tremendous sacrifice, but it’s sacrifice for the real benefit of others as God defines it.

When each attempt to redeem the family results in failure, it’s because the attempts were nonstrategic lunges—more idealistic or emotional than effective. Failure easily occurs when working alone or spontaneously. Paul never worked alone, and he never let chance determine the outcome:

Do you not know that those who run in a race all run, but only one receives the prize? Run in such a way that you may win. – 1 Corinthians 9:24

Put an end to Dumb Sacrifice. Work with other Christians who will bring objectivity and balance into your life. Godly sacrifice means changing our interactions from immature to mature, from reactionary to planned, from lunging to thrusting with precision. Love others “in such a way that you may win.”

Build a godly Dynasty, not a petty, savage Tribe.

Related posts:

1. Want Love Ethics?
2. Tribal Love
3. The Power of Love
4. Building a Love Ethic
5. The New Life in Love Ethics